Worn out or frustrated with your HSP trait? Give this a try.

One spring evening, I was out for a jog.  It had been a full day, and I was feeling stuck in my creative process. Of course, there was still more to do, but my mind was foggy, narrow, and inefficient, and worries were creeping in, so I had slipped away for a short run.  As I rounded the bend, I saw a stunning sunset. Within a breath’s time, I felt inspired and expansive. It was such a contrast to how I had been feeling just a few moments before. I wondered, “What if highly sensitive people (HSPs) are designed to bounce back? All humans are resilient, but what if HSPs’ capacity to be deeply moved is there-- in part, to offset the load of extra processing?

It seemed to make sense that a trait, that on the one hand stresses us out more (to help us perceive subtleties, think complexly, empathize and work to relieve others’ suffering), would on the other, include some mechanism for recharging us. (Right?!)

My body relaxed. It gave me peace of mind to think not only was it OK to carve out time to feel inspired and rejuvenated, but (here was that lesson again) it was a priority. 

Maybe you’ve already got this down, but if you find yourself feeling worn out, burned out or simply frustrated with your HSP trait, I invite you to consider the questions below and jot down your responses. 

Why jot them down? Research shows that when we write out our specific goals, we are 1.2 to 1.4 times as likely to achieve them, and if we share written goals with a friend or accountability partner, it’s likely we’ll further increase our chances of success. 

(In case the reminder is helpful, this doesn’t need to be perfect.) Jot down (or make a mental note of) your first instincts. Focus on the questions that are most helpful (and skip any that are not helpful). You can always add ideas that pop up later. 

1.      What helps you feel grounded and ready? (9 hours of sleep? Movement? Time with your pet, person or people? Time alone?....) Give yourself permission to be unfiltered and list as few or as many as you need.

2.      What makes you feel more alive, expansive, energized, or inspired? (Time in nature? Doing your form of art?  Listening to a type of music?  Aligning actions with your values?)

3.      Was there something that you used to do that recharged you?  If so, would you like to return to it?

4.      Do you have a sense of how often you need/want to engage in one of your expansive activities? (For a moment, let go of what’s “realistic,” and consider what would be right for you.)

5.      What needs to happen to do that or get closer to that? Do you need to ask someone else to watch the kids, keep work within work hours or put down work when it’s good enough? Maybe it’s helpful to remember that fresh ideas arise during or after energizing time. Can you plan ahead to make the best use of your time, or “pin” (forgive the Zoom reference) your priorities front and center in your mind or somewhere where you can see them over and over again?

6.      What “stories” get in the way? Do you need a way to work with self-criticism about needing _______________ (fill in the blank) or guilt that it takes you away from others, or somehow let it sink in that recharging is a priority?

What if what may seem like a luxury for someone else, could be your way of deeply recharging and of helping you to bring your complex-thinking, deep-feeling, intuitive, purpose-driven self to loved ones and your life’s work?  

7.      What would help you be more accountable (writing it in your schedule or making arrangements with someone you trust to keep you committed?)

8. Notice if there are any “escapes” that don’t really help you recharge -but instead sap your energy—too much time on social media, repetitive thinking, perfectionism sneaking in, etc.

9.      How will you know when you’re moving in the right direction? (What will you feel in your body?  What emotions or thoughts will you have?)  

To create this week’s playful recharge plan, fill in the blanks.

I will  ______________________________  (recharging action/ actions) ____________ many times this week on this/(these) day(s)___________________ at this/ (these) time(s)________________.

To help me follow through I will _____________________________________________. 

It’s likely at least one of these obstacles will come up: ________________________________________________________________________________________.  To prevent it/(them) from stopping me, I will _____________________________________________.

If I don’t quite get it this time, I will practice and notice what it’s like to be gentle with myself and curious about what got in the way. I’ll see if I can playfully tweak it for next time by ______________________________________________________________________________________________.

Yours Truly,

(You!)

If you’d like, share this with someone you trust (or keep it for yourself). Your future self will thank you!

Would you like some support getting “unstuck,” achieving your goals and reconnecting with your expansive, energized self?

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This website and blog are intended for your curiosity, exploration and reflection.  They are not intended to diagnose or be a substitute for therapy or medical care. If you are experiencing a psychiatric emergency call 988 (in the United States) or go to your nearest emergency room and ask for the psychiatrist on call.